Senin, 19 Juli 2010

[DIARY] HEO YOUNG SAENG

from: ss501.dspenter.com

작성자: 허영생
author: Heo young saeng

≪2007.1.14≫

2007. 1. 14..

무대 올라가기전...



"형~ 난 세상의 날개를 들으면 이상하게 우리 얘기같아..;;"

"그래..? 나도 왠지모르게 슬프긴해.."

"그래서 그런지.. 그 노래 들으면 눈물 날거 같아.. 특히 형이 부르는 브릿지 부분..."



마지막.. 앵콜 곡..



"힘이 들면 쉬어요.. 지친 날개 잠시 접어 두고...

그대 웃어봐요... 보이나요...

작은 촛불같은 그세상..."



"기억해요... 우리..... 하늘을.... 날죠......

자..유...로..운..세상..과..그..꿈.. 을 위..해................"



나는 느꼈다.. 그 친구는 울고 있다는 것을...

아무도 눈치 채지 못한채.. 나혼자만 느끼고 있었다...

무대에 올라서기전 우리가 했던 말들이...

순간 뇌리속을 스쳐지나갔다...

그리고는...



"할 수 있죠... 늘... 꿈..꿔..............."



나도 모르게...눈물이 왈칵 쏟아져 나왔다....

그냥 노래 가사말에 눈물보단.. 또 다른 의미가 있었다....



"행복한 웃음.... 가득한 곳....... 만...들...수.......있........죠..."





우리는 가수이기에.. 멋진 무대와.. 멋진 모습만을 추구했다...

하지만 현실은 그러하지 않았다...

우리가 하고싶은거에 대한 제약은 많았다...



노래에서 우리는 하늘을 날고 있다라고 표현하지만...

현실의 우리 모습은 그러하지 못했기에...

할수 있다라고 표현하지만... 우리는 그러지 못했기에...

우리의 노래를 듣고.. 우리의 무대를 보고 있는 사람들에게...

미안한 마음에... 차마.. 고개를 들지 못한채..

눈물만 보이게 된것이다...



그때 그 눈물의 의미를 ... 아마.. 아무도... 지금 이순간까지도..

알고 있던 사람은...

눈물을 보인 우리 두사람 뿐일것이다...



3년 반이 지난... 2007년 1월 14일...

마지막 노래를 부르며... 흘렸던 눈물의 의미...



마지막까지 마이크를 꽉 쥐고.. 눈물을 흘리며..

움직이지도 않았던 이유는...



마이크는 내 평생 함께할 물건이라는걸 알려주고 싶었고..

죽을때까지 노래하겠다라는 의미를 전달하고 있었다...

그리고 꼭.. 한마디 하고 싶은 말이 있었다..

하지만 자꾸 눈물이 나와... 차마 입 밖으로 꺼내질 못했다...



그때 그 눈물의 의미....







'부족한 무대를 보이는 우리였는데... 미안해요...

그리고 부족한 우리의 무대를.. 즐겨줘서 고마워요...'


*************************************

≪2007.1.14≫

2007.1.14..
Before we went onto stage...

"Hyung~ When I listen to Wings of the World, it's like talking about us..;;"
"Really..? Me too, I feel sad for no practical reasons.."
"That's why.. Seems like listening to that song will make you cry.. Especially the bridge part that hyung you sing..."

Lastly.. The encore song..

"Rest to get power if you must.. Lay down your tired wings for the moment...
Just smile... do you see it...
That world shining just like a small candlelight..."

"(I) Remember... We..... will fly... to the sky.... won't we......
For.. the.. sake.. of.. our.. dreams.. and.. for.. freedom.. of.. this.. world............."

I felt it.. The reason why that friend was crying...
Noone noticed it.. Only me...
Before standing onto stage, the words we said...
Flashed past my mind at that split moment...
And...

"We can do it... Always... Dreaming.......... of our dream..................."

I don't know why too... Tears just trickled out the eyes ceaselessly....
The lyrics of song... actually had a different meaning than those tears....

"A smile with happiness.... A place filled with it......... We... can... make... that... happen... can't we......."


We as singers.. we're only expected of putting up an amazing stage.. and.. displaying our handsome sides...
But in reality, it didn't work like that...
There were so many limitations to what we wanted to do...

Though we sing in the song, we are flying to the skies... but
the us in reality, we're unable to do that...
Though we sing in the song, we can do it... but
the us in reality, we're unable to do that...
To the people listening to our song.. To the people watching our stage...
I really can't lift my head... because I feel so sorry in my heart...
Ended up only tears were seen...

The meaning behind those tears flowed at that time ... probably.. until now this moment...
If any one would have known,
the people who could have possibly known...
will only be the both of us who shed and saw...

3 and a half years have passed by... 2007 January 14...
While singing the last song...to the meaning of those tears that flowed...

Right until the end, grabbing onto the mike so tightly.. and tears trickling by..
The reason why we weren't moving...

Because I wanted to tell everyone..
The mike will be the item I'll spend my eternal lifetime with..
I will be singing until I die... and I was letting this be known...
And.. there was this one sentence I wanted to say for sure..
But tears just kept flowing... It just couldn't come out of my mouth...

The meaning to those tears at that time....



'It was us looking at the imperfect stage ourselves... I'm sorry...
And our imperfect stage.. because you enjoyed it, I'm thankful...'

indo trans :
2007.1.14..
Sebelum kami naik ke atas stage…

“Hyung~ Ketika aku mendengar Wings of the World, aku merasa lagunya seperti menceritakan tentang kita..;;”
“Benarkan..? Aku juga begitu, Aku merasa sedih tanpa alasan yang pasti..”
“Karena itulah.. Sepertinya ketika mendengarkan lagu itu bisa membuatmu menangis.. Khususnya di part yang hyung nyanyikan…”

Akhirnya.. Lagu encore..

“Istirahatlah agar mendapat kekuatan.. Istirahatkan sayapmu sebentar…
Tersenyumlah… apakah kau melihatnya..
Dunia bersinar seperti lilin kecil…”

“Ingat… Kita….. akan terbang… ke langit…. kan…..
demi.. mimpi.. kita… dan… untuk.. kebebasan… dunia.. ini………….”

Aku merasakan itu.. Alasan kenapa teman-teman menangis…
Tidak ada yang sadar.. kecuali aku…
Sebelum berdiri ke atas stage, kata-kata yang kami katakan..
melintas di pikiranku..
Dan…

“Kita pasti bisa… Selalu… Memimpikan………. mimpi kita……………….”

Aku juga tidak tau kenapa… Air mata menetes terus….
Lirik lagunya… memiliki arti yang berbeda daripada tangisan itu….

“Sebuah senyuman kebahagiaan…. Sebuah tempat yang dipenuhi dengan itu……… Kita… dapat… mewujudkannya… kan…….”

Kami sebagai penyanyi.. kami hanya dapat memberikan penampilan yang luar biasa.. dan.. menunjukkan kegagahan kami…
Tapi nyatanya, tidak seperti itu…
Banyak sekali batasan atas apa yang ingin kami lakukan…

Walaupun ketika kami menyanyikan lagu, kami merasa terbng ke angkasa… tapi
aslinya, kami tidak dapat melakukan itu…
Walaupun ketika kami bernyanyi, kami bisa melakukannya… tapi
aslinya, kami tidak dapat melakukan itu…
Untuk semuanya yang mendengarkan lagu kami.. Untuk semuanya yang menonton kami di stage…
Aku benar-benar tidak dapat mengangkat kepalaku… karena aku merasa bersalah…
Akhirnya hanya tangis yang terlihat…

Arti dari tangisan yang mengalir waktu itu… mungkin.. sampai sekarang ini…
Jika ada yang sudah tau,
dan orang-orang yang mungkin tau…
hanya kita lah yang melihat dan mengetahuinya…

3 setengah tahun telahberalu… 14 Januari 2007…
Ketika menyanyikan lagu terakhir…arti dari tangisan yang mengalir…

Sampai akhir, memegang mic ku dengan kuat.. dan keluarkah tangisan.,
Alasan kenapa kami tidak bergerak ketika itu…

Karena aku ingin mengatakan pada semuanya..
Mic akan menjadi temanku selamanya..
Aku akan bernyanyi sampai aku mati… Dan aku ingin ini diketahui…
Dan.. ada satu kalimat yang ingin sekali kukatakan..
Tapi tangisan terus mengalir… Tidak bisa keluar dari mulutku…

Arti dari tangisan waktu itu….

‘Itu karena penampilan kami yang tidak sempurna… Aku minta maaf…
Dan penampilan kami yang tidak sempurna itu.. karena kalian menikmatinya, Aku berterima kasih…’


credits: ss501.dspenter.com + (English Translation) ode @ ss501ode.blogspot.com + (Indonesian Translation) chy @ dsplove.wordpress.com

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